What is mentoring?
Who can become a mentor?
What are the benefits of mentoring?
Could you be a mentor?
Starting the journey together

What is mentoring?

Mentoring is a process of guiding a young person so that they can make good choices for their lives. Mentoring means supporting a young person to develop skills and helping them learn to respect themselves and other people.

Mentoring can take place by regularly talking to a young person, or it can be part of a more organised programme, such as a youth group at church or a training programme at work. The person who gives guidance and support is called a mentor and the person who receives guidance is called a mentee.

Who can become a mentor?

A mentor can be a relative (such as an aunt or uncle), or a friend of the family. A mentor may teach certain skills, for example, a soccer coach or dance teacher. At work, a mentor may be the person who helps us to learn how to do our job well.

A mentor is not:

• meant to replace a young person’s family
• the answer to all the young person’s problems
• responsible for the decisions a young person makes
• someone who gives a young person money

A mentor is someone who:

• the young person trusts and feels safe with
• listens to the young person and takes them seriously
• does not judge the young person, but tries to see things from their point of view
• regularly spends time with the young person
• is open and honest about their own life and the mistakes they made in the past
• can encourage and support the young person to do their best and follow their dreams
• accepts the young person’s opinion

What are the benefits of mentoring

Mentoring can make people’s lives better. It benefits both the mentor and the  mentee.

Many young people in South Africa grow up without the support of family and friends. They have to deal with peer pressure and trying to make good choices. A mentor can help a young person to cope with the experiences of growing up.

Studies have shown that mentoring can increase a young person’s ability to cope with the challenges of growing up, and difficult experiences, such as those related to crime, violence and HIV/AIDS.

There are many good reasons for mentoring young people such as:

• missing fewer classes at school
• doing well at school
• better friendships and relationships with people their age and with their parents
• less drug and alcohol use
• not getting angry quickly
• discovering what they want to do with their life

The mentor also benefits from the experience, for example:

• developing yourself as you try to be a good example for the young person
• knowing you have done something good by helping a younger person
• developing skills such as listening well, learning to understand people’s problems, and helping to stop arguments and fights the young person may have

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Could you be a mentor?

In order to apply to be a Forgood Mentor, you need to know a young person that you would like to mentor and who has agreed to be mentored by you.

Here is a list of questions that can help you think about whether or not you would like to become a member and if so, who you would like to mentor.

1. Who was a mentor to you?

• Think about the people who helped you to grow up to be the person you are now. What did you learn from them?
• Make a list of your mentors, and the things you learned from them.
• What would your life be like if you had not met the people on your list?

2. Would you like to be a mentor?

• Are you interested in supporting and helping a young person grow?
• Could you help a young person become the best person they want to be (not what you want them to become)
• Think about a young person you know. What do you think that person is learning from you? In what ways are you guiding them to be good? What values are you teaching them through your actions?
• Think about the values that you want to share with young people. You could begin by thinking about which values influence your life.

3. Who would you like to mentor?

• Is there a young person in your community who needs someone to guide them? For example, a young person whose parents have died because of HIV/AIDS; or a person who wants to learn a skill that you have; or someone who is going through a difficult experience – similar to one that you had to cope with, such as drug abuse, crime, a bad accident, or the death of a family member or friend.
• Make a list of the young people you know who you could mentor. Next to each name, write something you could teach them. Then choose one person who you can support.

Starting the journey together

Take some time to listen to the young person. Share a meal together. Let them tell you about their life and dreams. Ask them why they want a mentor and if they would like to be mentored by you. Talk together about how you could be a mentor to them, encouraging and supporting them over time.